How to go camping, by the Blasphemous Bicycler
The Idyllic, Mythical Camping Experience:
- It never rains.
- There are no mosquitoes.
- The ground is as soft and comfortable as a feather bed.
- The overnight temperature is warm enough to sleep naked with no blankets.
- The forest is full of fruit trees and wild berries, so you never have to cook or do dishes. Bears will not try to eat your dinner.
- You never have to go poop.
- You are a Zen master — totally content to sit and commune with nature. You never get bored.
In the Idyllic camp-out, you simply walk naked and empty-handed into the wilderness, sleep on the ground, and walk home when you’re done.